So Much Stronger
by futuremrsbates99
Summary: This is my first ER fanfiction, as I go through my obsessions with different TV programmes and films, I tend to go a bit fanfic crazy with them so over the next couple of months there will probably quite a few more. This is a Rachel/Elizabeth adoption (post-on the beach) Reviews and Favourites appreciated. Rated M for adult themes, mainly later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

It had been almost a year since Mark's death, Rachel visited for a week in her summer holidays and Ella was 20 months old now. She was beginning to sleep better but still woke at the slightest noise so given I was furious with whoever it was ringing my doorbell at two o'clock in the morning. I ran downstairs in a dressing gown and slippers, pulled the door and was shocked at the sight I saw - it was Rachel but she was covered in blood and drenched to the skin from the awful weather.

"Rachel! Get inside, what on Earth do you think you're doing in Chicago?!" I exclaimed, incapable of holding my tongue, and she ran inside the house to dry land - it was raining for the first time in ages and it had been bucketing it down all day and all night.

"I'm sorry Elizabeth, this is the only place I could think of to come. Could I stay here for a couple nights please? I'll explain everything to you." She said in a broken voice and when I saw her face and the redness of it, I could tell she'd been crying, a lot. I can't say a lot about Rachel, but I knew she wasn't a crier, she'd barely shed a tear at her own father's funeral, though her distress was obvious, not a lot of things would be capable of getting her in this kind of state.

My arms stretched out to her from instinct and pulled in to a rib-crushing hug, she started weeping softly against my shoulder. When I heard her breaths even out and the crying subside, I pulled away from her gently so I could see her face.

"Rachel, does your mother know your here? You know she'll worry if you just disappear like you did last time." I noticed the way she looked at me when I said the word 'mother' - she looked terrified at the mere prospect of Jen.

"I think she assumes I'm here, I mean this is where she told me to go - sort of - and I didn't know where else to go anyway." My brows knitted together in a confused expression, prompting her to elaborate. "She kicked me out, literally I got home from school one day and all my things were packed in a suitcase at the bottom of the stairs. There was no-one else in the house and I thought we were just moving again, but then I found this on top of the case." She handed me a piece of lined paper that had something written on it, it read:

_Rachel,_

_Don't bother trying to find us, you've become too much like your Dad so go back to the mother who actually might still like you. I don't care what you do, just find somewhere else to live, I don't want you as my daughter anymore. Send me the adoption papers when you find someone suitable._

_Jen_

She hadn't even signed it 'Mom' for heavens' sake, that wicked cow! I looked up at Rachel who had taken a reasonably sized step back from me while I read, she looked at me with scared eyes and all I could think of was 'Mark would know what to do' but it did no good to dwell on that fact.

"Okay sweetie, well we do need to sort this out with your mother but don't worry Rachel, you're staying here with me and Ella now, I don't care what she says." Ella had started crying upstairs, I was about to go and calm her down when Rachel stopped me, holding my arm.

"Could I go? I haven't seen her in ages and you're probably really tired anyway." I nodded happily at her and watched her walk up the stairs. Ever since the incident with the drugs, Rachel had spent everyday trying to make it up to Ella - while we were in Hawaii she would willingly get up in the middle of the night to feed her or take her down to the beach. I think the fear and pain of watching her Dad suffer so much made her realize how much her family meant to her - Ella especially.

When she came back down the stairs, I was sat down on the couch with a biscuit barrel and two cups of tea. She hadn't been more than 15 minutes so Ella must've fallen asleep easily, she poked her head around the door and saw me sitting there.

"Hey," I almost whispered to her and she came to join me on the sofa, still wearing the same clothes she had arrived in. "I got us both some tea and biscuits, you should probably change out of those before you catch a cold." _Oh my god! _I realized inwardly, I hadn't even asked about the blood!"Wait, I can't believe it took me this long to ask...where's all the blood from?" She shifted awkwardly so there was as much space between us as the couch would allow, I looked at her hopefully.

"This all happened...almost a month ago. I've been sleeping rough but then on night before last, something happened. That's what made me come here..." There was an uneasy silence while I was waiting for her to continue, but she didn't.

"Rachel, what do you mean 'something' happened? And why didn't you come to me as soon as all this happened?" My voice was much quieter than usual, but I still felt like a bulldozer invading the countryside.

"I didn't come because I didn't want to intrude in to you and Ella's life, the only thing that bound us together with Dad which means I no longer have rights to you." She stated matter-of-factly, avoiding eye contact with me at all costs as she played with a loose thread on her jacket. "But I've been hanging around with this guy, sharing doorways and stuff, turned out he isn't as nice as I thought and I can't get rid of him. He keeps following me everywhere, for all I know he's on the EL here right now."

"Did he...?" I didn't even have to say the word before she nodded, and I was suddenly thinking in doctor-mode rather than stepmother-mode. "Okay, we need to get you to the hospital to make sure you're okay and we need to inform the SLMPD so they know everything." She shook her head profusely and I frowned at her, not quite understanding what she was saying no to.

"I can't Elizabeth, please you're a doctor, can't you just do it here. I can't bear to see any of them right now, especially not while I look like this. I don't want anyone who doesn't need to know about this, knowing about this. Right now you're the only person I trust, so I don't want _anyone _else to find out about this, please Elizabeth?"She begged and pleaded with me, so I sat down beside her and placed my hands on top of hers.

"Are you sure you want me to do this Rachel? At the hospital I can get you treated by someone you've never met before, but here I'd have to see everything he did to you." I watched her reaction, surely she'd want to be treated by someone other than me, Susan maybe.

"No, even if someone else treated me, everyone there would see me come in and I know how fast news travels at County. And whoever does examine me will find something else out too, something that I don't want anyone but YOU to know." She emphasized the 'you' to an almost furious level. "And you're probably going to hate me for it, well I know you will, but you've forgiven me for much worse."

I didn't understand what she meant but I'd find out soon enough, I was going to have to be the one to do this for her, she wasn't going to let anyone else in that parted to go to bed, I didn't sleep at all, I was too worried about what she meant by 'something else'.


	2. Chapter 2

I saw Rachel walk in the kitchen, still half-asleep and smiled, she said good morning and I smirked.

"Actually, that's good evening." I said to her and poured her a cup of coffee, I assumed she still liked it the way she used to.

"What do you mean? How long was I asleep for? Why didn't you wake me earlier?" She sounded frantic, I placed the coffee down in front of her before taking a seat at the table with her.

"You were out for about 14 hours, and why would I wake you? God knows how long it's been since you slept in a proper bed." She sipped her coffee and reached her hand over to the fruit bowl, her hand hovered over an apple as she looked back as if asking for permission. " Of course, I was wondering, would you be alright if we did the examination tonight? I popped in to work today and got the things I needed, I don't want to leave it too long so the injuries don't start to heal." She nodded willingly before taking a large bite out of the apple and ravishing it like a cannibal, _how long has it been since she ate a proper meal? _I asked myself mentally, I was missing so many of the obvious things that I wouldn't if I was working.

"Yeah sure, I just want it over with, and 32 nights including the one on the train here." I couldn't help but shoot her a dissaproving glare, why would she wait this long before coming to find me? "Have you got anything I can cook for myself? I'm starving." She still hadn't changed, last night she'd said she was too tired and she'd only just woken up.

"I'll fix you something up, why don't you go take a shower? It'll make you feel better, dinner should be done by the time you get out." I suggested, she nodded and went willingly, headed straight for the bathroom. It took me half an hour to cook dinner, Rachel had always liked long showers so she would probably be a few more minutes. I left the vegetarian lasagne in the oven on a low heat and went to check on Ella, she'd fallen asleep watching Clifford.

When she came out of the bathroom she was dressed in jeans and a hoodie with her hair still damp, she still didn't look like the Rachel I used to bicker with but she looked a lot better than when she arrived. I put her lasagne on the table and left her to eat it, I went to put Ella to bed and just as I got her settled there was loud bang, luckily Ella just stirred then went back to sleep. I ran down the stairs to see what had happened, I found Rachel on the floor, clearing up a broken plate with her hands, her hands were already bleeding from picking up the shards of crockery.

"Let me do that, go sit down at the table. Those are going to need some sutures, what happened?" She stood up, whispering apologies under her breath and cursing at herself.

"Sorry, I was trying to wash up and I tripped over something. I didn't mean to wake Ella, is she still asleep?" I nodded before clearing up the broken dish. At the table I saw her scratching the deepest cut, and joined her there before she could do any more damage. It didn't take more than a few minutes to sort it out and we worked in silence, neither of us made an attempt to say anything. "We should probably get this over with, while Ella's asleep." She said plainly, prompting me get on with it.

"Yes of course, I got you a patient's gown from the hospital so if you change in to it, we can do it in your bedroom. You'll need to be lying down." I handed her the hospital blue gown and she went to her bedroom to change. After giving her about ten minutes to change, I knocked on her door gently. "Rachel, are you ready?" I called softly to her and after being asked to come in, I saw her, hiding in the corner, facing away from me. "What is it sweetheart?" Why would she be hiding from me already, I wondered.

"I just want to apologize in advance and I'm ready to leave whenever you want." What was she talking about, and why wouldn't she turn around? "Here goes." She turned to face me and I saw them straight away, some were red and some were white, some were thick and some were thin, some were old and some were brand-new, but all of them were covering her arms from shoulder to wrist. I couldn't help but lift my hand to my mouth in pure shock, I knew she wasn't quite as perfect as she seemed at first but I didn't think her life was quite this flawed, how long had this been going on. "I've been doing for years but it never really got bad enough that anyone would notice until after Dad died."

"Oh sweetheart, come here." I opened my arms to her and she gladly ran in to them and burrowed her head in my shoulder, I could feel the wetness of her tears on my shoulder but I just let her stay there for a while, holding her silently. "Are you sure you want _me _to be the one to do this Rachel?" I asked, still keeping a tight hold on her so that she could only answer me with words.

"No-one else in the world would react like that if they found out, I'm sure." I nodded before letting go of her so she could lie down on the bed, she knew exactly how she needed to be lain and I didn't ask why. "By the way, could you be careful when you go over my abdomen, I've got at least 3 broken ribs and somethings up with my right lung." She said and I looked at her before asking how she knew. "Spending too much time around you and Dad I suppose, sometimes I'd just listen to you reading stuff from work, some of it rubbed off on me."

She was right, she had three broken ribs and there were diminished breath sounds on the right side, I would have thought it was a pneumothorax but this was three days ago, she would have collapsed by now. There were some vaginal tears and a lot of internal bruising but nothing that wouldn't heal itself. I told her that she was going to be okay, and even though I could tell she doubted me, she nodded. I checked her arms and counted the scars as I went, there were 54 all together, and at least 4 of them looked new.

"Rachel, when was the last time you self-harmed?" I asked gently, the same way I would to a child patient, she swallowed hard before replying.

"Don't call it that please, think of another name. But earlier, in the shower." I sat down beside her on the bed, she had her legs crossed and she was looking down at her hands.

"Sorry sweetie but that's what it's called, there isn't another word for it. And I need you to try and stop, I'm not going to _make _you do anything but I'd really appreciate it if you could try." I explained to her, hoping she'd agree.

"If we're being honest then there's something I should probably tell you, it could make things better but it's more likely just going to make things worse. I don't care though because I can't lie to you anymore, it's too difficult." She said, looking up at me and I carefully prompted her to continue. "You know that time that Ella found the drugs..." Not something I'm going to forget, I thought. "Well, you know I said they were for me and my friends, that wasn't exactly true." She bit her lip until it started to bleed and I reached out a hand to her, wanting her to continue but worried what she was going to say. "They were Craig's, my step-father, he gave them to me before I left and told me that I had to sell them all and he'd let me keep any profit I made."


	3. Chapter 3

After that conversation I swore to myself that if I ever laid eyes on Craig Simon again I was going to perform every type of surgery possible with him completely alert and conscious through it all. How could he do that to Rachel - to anyone? What else had he done to her?

I was in the middle of my mental rant when Rachel ran in, looking startled. I jumped up, wondering what could have her in such a state, she was beginning to cry again, maybe she was becoming emotional because of her age.

"It's Josh, the guy who raped me, he knows where I am. I don't know how he found out but he said that if I don't meet him at Doc's in an hour, he's going to kill Ella! Please Elizabeth, we have to do something, even if it means me going to meet him, I don't care, I won't let him anywhere near Ella!" She spoke through broken sobs, trying to hold them back as she explained, and I was acting totally on impulse. I ran straight to the phone and called Jerry, I told him to get police to come round the back of the hospital and be on red alert, she was right - we were going to have to go.

We pulled in to the hospital parking lot, I wasted no time before getting out of the car and running around to Rachel's door.

"I'm so sorry you have to do this Rachel, there's going to be a couple of undercover policemen in there with you. It's just that we can't put the whole place in lock down. All you have to do is go in, walk up to him so the cops know who to arrest, and then you can come straight back out here to me, okay?" She nodded understandingly, acting as though she didn't care what happened as long as he got nowhere near Ella. "I'm so sorry, if I could go in myself then I would sweetheart. I'll see you in a minute."

*Rachel POV*

As soon as I walked in, I saw him stood in the corner, he hadn't seen me yet but the police didn't know to just follow my eye line and they'd have to wait a few moments if it was going to work anyway. I walked straight up to him and said hey, he grabbed me round the waist and I felt something sharp and cold meet with my cheek almost immediately. It stung like hell but I didn't try to struggle out of his grasp, I kept a straight face and smiled at him.

"You left me all alone, I've missed you." He said in a fake-hurt tone, smirking at me. "Oh don't think I didn't know you'd call the cops, but there aren't any in here so they're all waiting outside for you, aren't they..." He didn't get to finish his teasing before he was grabbed from behind and his hands were cuffed. A man in a suit arrested him, obviously an undercover cop, and dragged him away, his colleague walked up to me and told me I should probably go to the hospital to get my cheek sorted out. I nodded before quickly running out, I saw Elizabeth sat on the wall with Ella beside her, she was looking at the ground and her hands were trembling - she looked close to tears. I practically pounced on her but she didn't seem to care, she just pulled me in tighter, it wasn't until she saw the blood that she let go.

"What happened Rachel? Why didn't they arrest him straight away, oh god, you'll need some stitches for that, do you mind going to the ER? We can make a cover story." She suggested and I was in too much pain to care what happened, I just nodded and she kept her arm tightly around me all the way to the door, holding Ella with the other. As soon as we walked in Dr. Carter saw us and sort of freaked out, he didn't even know I was in Chicago so it was explainable.

"Dr. Corday, what happened to her? Why is she even here?" He asked, looking at Elizabeth and almost completely dismissing my presence.

"Hate to break it to you Carter but I'm right here. I got slashed, you think you can fix me up?" I teased, 'Uncle John' as I used to call him when I was younger, had always had an oversized ego and I took great joy in deflating it. She made some remark about how it obviously hadn't affected my attitude and I was tempted to smack him but I managed to restrain myself.

*Back to Elizabeth POV*

After Carter had done her stitches I managed to get him to go away so that I could speak to Rachel alone. Luckily he hadn't made her change in to a gown so he didn't see any of her other injuries, as soon as he'd left I went to sit on the edge of the bed. It had taken 2 layers of stitches, one dissolvable and one regular, the knife went over two inches deep and she lost almost half a litre of blood.

"I'm so sorry Rachel, I shouldn't have made you go in there. Did you know he'd have a weapon with him?" I held her hand as she began to speak in a hushed tone.

"I can't talk properly, the stitches don't let my jaw move." She slurred but I understood her well enough to get her jist. "I expected he'd have thought of some way to punish me for running off, I just didn't know what. I don't mind though, it was the only way and now he's locked up where he can't hurt anyone. This is nothing." She motioned towards her face with her free hand."I've done worse to myself." She said, then realizing how it had sounded looked away awkwardly.

"Don't try to speak if it hurts. I can get you discharged whenever you're ready." I suggested, careful with my words and she just nodded, indicating that she was ready to leave. Almost on queue Carter walked in to ask if we were ready to go home, I said we were and he went to sign the discharge papers.

We walked straight in to the heart of the ER to get Ella before leaving, she was behind the desk with Haleh and Jerry. Luckily no-one asked about Rachel's cheek, we hadn't really elaborated much on our story, but when we were just walking out of the door, the one and only - Robert Romano - walked straight in to Rachel. I doubted he was stopping to apologize, but either way, he did and he asked me what she was doing in Chicago. I just rolled my eyes at him and told him I'd see him at work, then left him and the rest of ER to their own chaos, we'd had our share for today.


	4. Chapter 4

"Elizabeth!" Her voice carried down the stairs.

"Yes?" I called back while packing some sandwiches in to a box for Ella. "What is it?"

"Err...could you come here when you have a sec?" The urgency was evident in her tone, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. I went straight up to her room to see what it was, relieved to see that Rachel didn't appear to be in any _serious _distress. I stood at the door with a raised eyebrow and a seemingly alarmed expression, waiting for her to verbalize her issue. "I'm two weeks late." She murmured whilst biting her lower lip, obviously as anxious to tell me as I was to know.

"Are you sure sweetheart?" I asked her carefully, sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, not quite willing yet to accept the truth in it. There had always been a possibility she would get pregnant but I had been praying for weeks that she wasn't and that she hadn't caught anything from him either. She nodded at me hesitantly before looking up with teary eyes almost begging for reassurance. "It's going to be alright Rachel, we're going to sort this out. No matter what happens, you're going to be okay." I felt like I was telling myself that more than I was saying it to her, what is she was pregnant? What would happen to the baby, it all depended on what Rachel decided.

"This is just getting more and more difficult because...I don't believe in abortion. So if I am...then I'm gonna have to have it, even if I put it up for adoption. I'm still going to have to go through all that, I'm just praying that I'm not." She spoke reluctantly, like she was afraid that if she said to much I might pounce on her.

"Well I've got work today so I can get you a test while I'm there and no one has to know, don't worry Rachel. I won't let you go through this alone." I promised, knowing that whatever happened I wasn't going to let that happen - this girl had become like a daughter to me, and I wasn't going to leave her behind when times got tough. "Speaking of which, I need to go get ready. Are you alright to watch Ella for an hour or so until the sitter gets here?" After getting a nod I left to go change in to some scrubs, I was driving in so it didn't matter anyway.

I left Rachel and Ella playing with some of her toys, looking forward to work for once. I didn't have anything too hectic scheduled, just a angioplasty, a gastric bypass and a couple of hours on call.

As soon as I got in to the hospital I was greeted by Abby, asking for a quick consult which I was willing to do. My operation wasn't scheduled for another hour so I had nothing to do until then, her patient had lymphoma but it was operable - lucky for him. I picked up three pregnancy test - best to be safe - and went through my work day as usual.

"Lizzie," I was greeted by the thick American accent of Robert, with his intolerable nicknames. "So, how was your time with your favourite almost-daughter?" He asked in a mocking tone and sniggered.

"Fine actually, Rachel's been a great help. She's staying with me for a while, not that it's any of your business Robert." I stated, almost laughing at his attempt at offending me.

"Now now, Lizzie. But since you aren't married to her father anymore, doesn't that mean really you're nothing to her? She's got her own mom, and I thought you hated the girl." He asked in a fake-concerned voice, I wanted to smack him right across the face but words were always a more enjoyable way of arguing with Rocket Romano.

"I'll be married to Mark until the day I die, thank you Robert! And I don't hate her, she made a mistake, really if everyone hated everyone who ever made a mistake we'd all be loners, and you'd have _no _one to talk to." I stated before walking to the lift, angry at him for being a complete prat. "Now if you don't mind, my shifts finished and I'm going home to my family. Goodnight."

* * *

It was about 4 o'clock when I got in, Rachel was reading something and Ella was in her playpen, _so this is what normal life looks like. _I thought to myself as I put my bag down on the table and took off my jacket.

"Hey, what are you reading? I asked as I walked in to the front room and slumped down on to the couch exhausted.

"Just some neurology paper I downloaded online, I've been reading Dad's old case notes all afternoon but I got bored of trying to figure out the abbreviations." She said before putting down the pile beside her and turning to look at me "So how did the surgery go on Mrs. Peterson?"She enquired casually.

"Well, no complications. I swear I'm going to have to hire you as my P.A. because you seem to know more about my patients than I do!" I joked, she laughed and shook her head.

"It's just because I'm not the one treating them, I'm telling you, if I was doing open abdominal surgery on someone I'd probably forget why I was even there!" She exclaimed. "I have no idea how I'm gonna get through med school, and that's if I even get in." _Yeah right, _I thought, _this girl had seen more than twice the amount of gunshot wounds anyone twice her age had, she was going to succeed in medicine._

"Rachel, do you know how crazy that sounds? If you can't get in to med school then nobody can, you've got all your Dad's skill. I'll eat my hat if you don't become chief of whatever you specialize in before 30!" Her face was filled with confusion and I couldn't help but laugh out loud at my mistake. "Sorry, English term, basically I'd bet every penny I have."

"I don't see what edible hats have to do with anything. Anyway, I want to specialize in neurology I think, either that or pediatrics." Ella started crying and I knew it would be a while before we could continue our conversation. Rachel jumped up from her seat and picked up her little sister, bouncing her gently. "Hey what's up? You getting jealous 'coz your Mom's giving me all the attention huh? Well here, you have her all to yourself now." She teased softly, handing her to me and I gave her a kiss on each cheek before looking up at Rachel.

"After I've got her down do you fancy a girls night in? You know nails, face masks, pizza, maybe a movie?" I suggested, hoping for some proper conversation time, it felt like we hadn't had a proper sit down talk in weeks even though it had been less than a few days.

"Yeah that'd be great. I need to re-do these nails anyway, they look awful." She said and I laughed as I went to put Ella to bed for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

I headed downstairs and found Rachel reading through some more case notes, it pleased me to see that she was genuinely interested in medicine this much.

"I think you've read those case notes through more times than we did when we were treating the patients. I can probably find you something a little more interesting to read if you want." She jumped when she heard my voice then laughed as she turned around.

"Yeah, I haven't been reading them as much lately but I found another box of yours in the attic, I hope you don't mind. It's just yours are easier to read, yours always make more sense." She was sort of right, I didn't tend to use all of the terms that American doctors did, in England we were encouraged to write things out in full so when I arrived I couldn't get rid of the habit. "I don't even remember the last time I read a proper book or magazine, I seriously know more about aortic aneurysms than I do about music."

"I doubt that, now come on I've still got some organic face masks from England, my mother brought them last time she was here." I pulled her in to my bedroom, it was the largest room in the house and where me and Rachel spent most of our time together. "Now spill, what's been going on at school? That's our deal remember, I tell you about work and you tell me about school."

"It was boring really, I got in to an argument with Angela but it's nothing important, I was tempted to rip her head off after what she said about you but I managed not to, for your sake mainly." She sounded deflated which wasn't like Rachel at all, if she was talking about an argument she'd had, she just got angry about it, not upset.

"Hey what did she say? And why would you stop for my benefit if she started it?" I sat down beside her on the bed, curious as to what could have done this much damage.

"She said...she said I should go back to my real Mom because I'm not your responsibility anymore and why would I want to stay with some evil old bitch like you anyway, I mean I know I'm not and that I should go home but it's not great to hear it from her lips and I can't believe she called you a bitch, I probably would have broken her nose if she'd said another word." I pulled my arm around her and waited for her to continue talking, knowing she would eventually. "Anyway I didn't want to get in to a fight because she's quite a lot bigger than me and I didn't want you to end up giving me stitches as soon as you got home from a day at work."

"Look, we have this kind of rule in Britain, that if you're going to get in to a fight, the one to blame is the one who threw the first hit, technically you would have hit her first but she'd hurt you first so you had every right to retaliate, us Brits aren't the peacekeepers you think we are." She giggled and lent further in to my shoulder. "And she was wrong you know, you are my responsibility because no matter how much we go through I'm always going to be your evil step-mother, promise." I said, nudging her playfully.

"Yeah of course Elizabeth, you're the evil mother, it's the other one that's so loving. " She retorted sarcastically, these were the moments I enjoyed, when we could forget Mark was dead for just a little while. "By the way, I was wondering, did you get the test today?" She asked in a hushed tone. I nodded and handed it to her straight from my pocket.

"Go pee on it then leave it in there for three minutes, we can go back and check as soon as your ready." She followed my instructions and went to the bathroom, I was still in denial that this could happen to her but it had.

She emerged from the bathroom a couple of minutes later and went to look at the nail polishes on my dresser, I'd almost forgotten about the new one I'd bought her so I pulled it out my pocket and handed it to her. She looked down at her hand to see what it was and gasped slightly, it was a midnight blue shimmer, similar to the one she had been wearing the first time I ever met her.

"It's gorgeous Elizabeth! It's reminds me of our first Thanksgiving dinner!" She gave me a quick hug and started to work on removing the chipped polish she'd had on for almost a week. We stayed silent for a few more minutes while she got rid of the old vanish, she looked at me hesitantly, asking me the question without so much as moving her lips. I nodded in response and rose from my seat to grab her hand, holding it tight as we walked to the bathroom, stopping at the door.

"I'll wait here so you can be the first one to know, I promise you, either way, everything is going to turn out fine." She gave my hand one last squeeze before reluctantly walking in, and I heard a broken sob - was it of relief or terror? I couldn't tell.

It wasn't more than a second later she jumped at me and hugged me almost as tightly as when she had arrived on my doorstop. Don't jump to any conclusions, I kept telling myself, but I couldn't help it.

"It's okay! I'm not pregnant! I'm so relieved right now it's unreal!" She whispered softly in my ear, not making any attempt to let go. We stood there for a good few minutes before she let go, not that I minded. "Well with that weight off our shoulders, how about a proper stress-free girls night, hmm?" The two of us headed back to my bedroom where we sat in a comfortable silence until Rachel caught on that I was deep in thought about something and asked what was wrong.

I tried to get away with saying it was nothing but Rachel has her father's determination, there was no point in to trying to conceal it.

"I was just thinking how, I married your Dad, which makes me old enough to be your Mum, which makes me old enough to be a Grandma, and Ella's only one. Maybe I waited too long to have kids..." I explained, looking at her with worry apparent in my eyes.

"You're not old enough to be a grandma yet, and there are people a lot older than you with babies all over the place. Hey, trust me, my mother's pregnant and she's older than you." As much as I wanted to doubt her words, Rachel wasn't the kind of person to tell white lies - not for anyone's benefit.

"Okay, care-free remember? Now, let me do your nails for you!" There wasn't another serious thought for the remaining few hours of the night, we just talked and happily reminisced about stories of Mark - the same way a mother and daughter could.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been almost a week since that night, and we were getting thrown in at the deep end. I got a phone call from Jen telling me that if I didn't sign the adoption papers within the next fortnight she was going to put Rachel in to a care home, and I hadn't spoken with Rachel about adoption yet. It's now or never, I told myself, it doesn't change that much anyway. I was lying to myself now.

"Rachel, I need to talk to you about something rather important." I said, there must have been something different about my voice - maybe worry or concern - that she picked up on, she looked at me anxiously. "Your Mom called..-"

"No, she can't want me back, not now!Please say it's something else." She interrupted me mid-sentence in terror.

"Don't worry Rachel, it's not that, it's quite the opposite. She says I have to have the adoption papers signed by the end of next week or she'll find alternative arrangements for you." I explained in an emotionless tone.

"Oh..." Rachel said, I couldn't tell what she was thinking because her face looked disappointed. "If I call she might hold off for a little while, I don't want to leave you and Ella...ever, but especially not right now." She murmured looking at the floor.

"Rachel, you can say no, I'm not going to be upset or anything but if you don't want to leave me and Ella then why don't we just go ahead with it?" I asked cautiously, careful not to hit a nerve with her. She looked up at me slightly confused, mild relief maybe, and I realized that she thought I was the one who didn't want this. Our family always seemed to have crossing wires somewhere, it was far too confusing.

"I thought...oh...well I'd love to if you agree. You've figured out what I thought, I can tell. But it's perfectly fine if you don't want to, I mean I totally understand, you already have one daughter, I'd get it." She started of in a nervous ramble, trying not to sway me either way, and I was almost tempted to laugh at her anxiousness but I didn't.

"Well then I suppose...welcome to the family. Really you already belong here but this will just finalize everything. Jesus, I don't just get to be a step mother now, I get to be an adopted mother!" I exclaimed jokingly before pulling her in to a hug, squeezing her gently and feeling her nose burrow it's way in to my curls.

"I might just shorten it and you get to be my mother by law to be honest, it's closer to the truth." She whispered hesitantly beside my ear, and I could feel the doubt in her voice. I pulled her away from me a little so that I could see her face and I watched as a lone tear rolled down her cheek, she brushed it away quickly in an attempt to make sure I didn't see.

"Rachel, you're practically my daughter, you can call me what you like with the possible exception of ugly old hag. How about we reserve that one for arguments?" That rewarded me with a little smile, just a barely traceable curve of the lips but still a smile.

"But then I hardly ever get to use it." She teased. "And I already call you what I want, have done since the day I arrived if you don't recall. The first thing I ever did when I met you was insult you, I'm not one for politeness." I thought back to that first thanksgiving, it was a stressful day for everyone but it was also such a great day, especially for Carol.

"It's getting late, you need some rest, I need you to look after Ella for a couple of hours tomorrow morning. I got the earlier shift so I'd be back in time to cook dinner for us all." I knew she wouldn't mind, she never did, she worshiped the ground Ella walked on. "Let's get you to bed hunn'." I left her to change for bed, knowing she'd come back out to get a drink before she went to sleep anyway, and got changed for bed myself. She came back out as I was pouring myself a glass of milk in her dressing gown and smiled at me.

I poured her a glass too and took it to her bedside table for her, she hopped in bed and I went over to say goodnight. She was too old to be tucked in usually but tonight was a night for sentimentality, so I did it anyway. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and said goodnight.

"Goodnight...Mom." I heard as I walked out of the door and popped my head back in to smile at her.

"Goodnight daughter."

* * *

My Mother was coming to visit, she wanted to find out what on Earth had been going through my mind when I adopted Rachel. She stormed in to the ER and strode up to me with her suitcase dragging behind her, looking furious.

"What in God's name were you thinking?" She exclaimed.

"Mother, can we talk about this later please. I have to work right now." I said before starting toward Trauma 1, with my mother hot on my heels, I spun round on my heels to look at her. "Dying person who needs my help" I gestured toward the door behind me. "Person who wants to discuss a trivial factor of my life." I pointed at her and smiled.

I managed to avoid her for the rest of the day, she'd gone back to the house to wait for me there. It was a quiet board for the last four hours of my shift, luckily I got out before the accident came in - but I still saw it on the news. There'd been a pile-up of at least 10 cars, at least 15 major traumas to be spread between the hospitals.

I walked in to the house expecting to find my mother waiting anxiously for me, Rachel in her room and Ella fast asleep. Ella was napping in her playpen while Rachel was cooking - dinner I assumed - in the kitchen.

"Hey, has my Mother arrived yet?" I asked her as I walked in.

"Yeah, she was tired so I persuaded her to go upstairs for a lie down before dinner, she should be up within the hour." She said as she cooked the fish sauce - it smelt delicious - over the hob.

"Speaking of dinner, why are you cooking?" I questioned and put down my bag and jacket on the chair.

"Well, I know you've had a rough time of it at work lately and with your Mom coming to visit I thought it'd be nice for us to all have a proper family dinner."

Rachel refused to let me help with dinner, saying that if I helped it wasn't really her idea anymore. My mother woke up just around the right time and came down the stairs, hopefully she'd have the decency to hold off her interrogation until we had some time away from the girls.

"Good evening Elizabeth, Rachel. What are we having for dinner? It smells divine." She stated in her sharp British accent, popping her head round the kitchen door.

"You'll have to ask Rachel - she's cooked dinner tonight - but you won't get anything out of her. She won't even tell me what she's making in there!" Emphasizing the last sentence teasingly, but she just laughed at me.

"No I won't tell you Mom, and I won't be telling you either Ms. Corday." She was very imprecise with her pronunciation of my Mother's title luckily, last time someone called my mother Mrs. she started ranting about how she was a divorced woman and NOT a Mrs.

My mother came to sit with me and Ella in the dining room, we only ever ate in there on special occasions or when we had company.

"So it's Mom now is it?" She hissed angrily, careful not to let Ella hear in case she relaid the words to her 'sister'.

"Yes it is, and she's my daughter. So either accept it or get out, if you want me to choose between you and Rachel, I choose her every time. Her, Mark and Ella are the only people in this world that matter to me, nobody else comes you don't like the fact that you now have two granddaughters, you can go back to having none." I exclaimed, not caring who heard me, wanting to get the message across.

"Fine! I just don't see how you can refer to the girl who almost killed your child as your daughter. And why you'd want to, she has a mother of her, you don't have to anymore, Her father's dead so you don't hold any responsibility anymore." I gritted my teeth, angered by her words.

"I didn't do this for Mark, I did this for Rachel - she's so much stronger than you can even imagine. She's been through so much more and she still finds the time to be there for me and Ella when we need her, which is more than can be said for you." Little did she know Rachel had been stood at the door the whole time, listening to them both.


	7. Chapter 7

Rachel walked in after a few minutes of uneasy silence, serving us smoked haddock in hollandaise sauce. We ate quietly but Mother kept a light conversation going, mainly about work and the girls. Rachel didn't say a word, just picked at her food, and I immediately knew somthing was wrong. When we were finished I offered to help with the washing-up, she didn't answer me just put the plates down beside the sink and went to the oven.

She pulled out a perfect apple crumble - to be served with custard - and cut it in to pieces. We walked back in to the room with the plates and even Mother looked pleased to see some British food.

"When with Romans." Rachel said, obviously meaning it jokingly but it came out harsh.

We finished eating and she rose to do the dishes, not asking for any help but I went with her anyway, hoping to find out what was wrong. When we got in to the kitchen, she turned to me with a glare.

"Look Elizabeth," I noted the name use. "I don't want to cause any more issues for you than I already have, maybe I should go back to St. Louis to try and sort things out with my mother." Just the last word flipped a lightswitch in my head, Mother, she'd heard our conversation.

"Sweetheart, you're not going anywhere, especially not because of what my Mother says. She doesn't know what she's saying half the time, she always manages to find something for us to argue about no matter what it is." I pulled her in to a tight hug and after a few seconds of resistance, she gave in and hugged me back.

Mother spent the next couple of days getting familiar with the idea of it but she didn't seem as angry anymore, she was spending time with Rachel and realizing how lovely she was. I agreed to let Rachel stay at her friend Amber's on Friday night after speaking to her parents and making sure they were okay with it, so that afternoon it was just me, Ella and Mother in the house.

I heard my phone bleep and went to check it - text from Rachel - looking at the time she was probably just texting to say goodnight.

_Mom, could you come get me from Amber's please? Will explain everything when I get home xo_

"Mother, look after Ella I need to go out. " I shouted before heading straight out the door and driving to Amber's, I'd dropped Rachel off earlier so I knew where it was. She ran toward the car looking upset but not crying...yet. "What happened Rach'?" I asked as soon as she was sat down.

"You, they were bitchin' about you but I was trying to defend you and they wouldn't drop it so I had to leave. I can't be friends with people who hate my Mom, it's too difficult." She explained and I felt so awful, she was going to be getting crap about this until she left that school, just because teenagers believe that adults can't change who they are.

"It's okay hunn', how about we get some takeout on the way home?" I suggested, expecting her to still want a girls night of some sort, she nodded enthusiastically so we drove toward the chinese.

We spent about fifty dollars in the chinese - thank god for tupawear- and it was going to last all week in leftovers. After coming home to a sleeping home we got in to our pyjamas and put in a film, the same we way we did most Friday nights. I was in the middle of eating a chicken ball when I heard Rachel start crying, maybe it was just her age because up until a few months ago I'd only seen her cry once.

"What is it Rach'?" I asked softly, pulling her closer to me as she cried.

"It's just you know...the date...it's making me feel like I have the whole world against me. Everything's going wrong...and just when things were looking up this comes around." She said, I could tell from her caution she was worried I didn't remember, but of course I did.

"I know Rachel, I thought you'd forgotten and I didn't want to bring it up and upset you. I barely slept last night, but it's making me think about how much has changed since this time last year. God I miss him." I started crying too, we just sat there and cried together for at least half an hour before I pulled Rachel even tighter to my chest. "He loved you more than anything in the world." I whispered in her ear, I could feel her shaking her against me and felt confused.

"He loved me and Ella each held a piece of his heart, but he_ gave_ _you _his heart, I knew him for almost sixteen years and he was never happier than when he was with you." She said, but not in the spiteful way she had once said it, like she was more deserving it, but like I was worth all of his love."And you stuck with him through everything, the same way you've stood by me."

"Thank you sweetheart, that means a lot. I said to him once that that's what marriage is, and Rachel, me sticking by you, is parenthood."

* * *

A week later my Mother was getting ready to leave, she was loading her cases in to the back of a cab headed for the airport. She said her farewells to me and Ella before heading over to Rachel I was cautious at first but know how thick-skinned Rach' can be - she could survive the wrath of my Mother anyday.

Rachel POV

"Thank you for coming over to visit Ms. Corday, no matter your original intention." We'd made peace after Mom told her everything that had happened, I'd said she was welcome to as long as I didn't have to be there at the time. It turns out that Isabelle Corday is actually a really lovely woman, quite straight-laced and very British but not as cold-hearted as one would believe at first.

"Isabelle please, you're practically my granddaughter Rachel, just don't start calling me Granny - I'm still in denial about my age." Although her accent was a lot more thick than Mom's. you could still hear and see a lot of Isabelle in her daughter.

"You're not that old yet. Don't let it get too long before you visit again, whether she wants to admit or not - Mom misses you a great deal more than she likes to let on." They're estranged relationship reminded me a lot of my own but there's was mendable, that was the only difference. One of the things Mom understood best about me was my loneliness - we'd both lacked an older female influence during our adolescence - and we'd bonded over it.

"I never said this, but me too." She said in a hushed tone before giving me a quick peck on the cheek and hopping in to the back seat of her cab. After waving her off, Me, Mom and Ella headed back in to the house.

"Whatever she said, she didn't mean it I promise." Mom said as she put Ella down on the couch, looking up at me obviously checking for distress signals.

"You always assume the worst of your Mother, honestly she didn't say anything offensive. She was totally lovely about this whole affair." My words always seemed hypocritical but to me our situations were different, I don't have the right to judge a woman I barely know on things she did before I was even born.


	8. Chapter 8

We'd settled in to a comfortable family routine now, there were still a lot of bad days but overall things were looking up - Rachel was doing well, Ella seemed to be growing up faster than ever and I was getting on at work. It'd been a whole week since a 'serious' conversation - the kind where Rachel would come to me upset about something - and I wanted to be optimistic about it but I knew that it was just the build-up to a particularly bad day, and I was right.

That Saturday had started the same way most others did, I had the day off so we were planning to go out for lunch as a family - we all seemed to be in a good mood. Rachel was wearing a short-sleeved top today, although the scars were still visible there weren't any red ones - they all looked weeks old. She said she wanted a shower before we left and I was fine with that, I had no reason not to be, I got Ella dressed and ready to leave while I waited.

When she came back out of the bathroom she was wearing a hoodie, this didn't concern me either - she hadn't self-harmed since that day she arrived - so we got ready to leave. We went to eat at Doc's, it had become one of our favourite places to eat even after all the memories that lurked their for the both of us. Carter was in there, he saw the three of us at a table and came over still dressed in scrubs - obviously on a break.

"What are you all doing here guys? Rachel, how come you haven't gone home yet, how long you staying for?" He asked, sliding in to the seat beside me and took a sip from his coffee. I looked over at Rach' with a questioning glare, and she gave a quick nod disguised as a head turn, it was enough for me though.

"Actually John, she's staying for good now. I'm adopting her so she can stay with me and see more of Ella. I would ask you not to go and tell everyone at work but I know it'd be pointless. Rachel's now officially my daughter by law." It was true, the papers had been verified and only the formalities were left, but it was near enough that that's how we could introduce ourselves.

"Wow! What does Jen have to say about this? Isn't she a bit pissed that you've just left home?" He asked confusedly, everyone at County still believed that Rachel and her mother were inseparable.

"Actually Carter, she doesn't care in the slightest. She effectively disowned me, that's why Mom took me in." Rachel stated harshly, still feeding Ella with a grin on her face though the anger was apparent in her tone. I wasn't going to put it quite like that, I wasn't sure how much she wanted disclosed but she did it herself. Carter, looking slightly dumbfounded, made his excuses and headed back to the hospital for his shift. "Well I'm not looking forward to the next time I walk through those doors, I'm sorry about that but I can't really be bothered with keeping it quiet anymore. You can take it out on me tomorrow night after you've had a horrible day at work with Romano."

"It'll be fine, everyone there loves you and they'll just be pleased they still get to see you. As for Romano, he can say what he likes to be honest and he's not half the prick he was a year ago. Ever since the accident on the roof he's become quite tolerable." I said, it was true and I knew that I was going to get some grief tomorrow but Rachel didn't need to know that. "Let's get home shall we?" I suggested before paying the bill and heading back to the car.

* * *

Rachel POV

As soon as I got home I checked my facebook as I usually did, at least none of my friends knew about the adoption yet - I didn't plan on telling them. I spoke too soon, the moment I logged in I had over 100 notifications, over fifty messages and as soon as I saw the top post on my profile I could have torn Chuny Martinez's head off! Obviously people at County had found out because Chuny had posted on my wall saying:

_Oh my gosh! Is it true? I'm so pleased if it is, Elizabeth will be an amazing adopted mother to you!xx_

All my friends had seen it and had commented, and messaged me asking if it was true. I literally screamed out loud and Elizabeth ran in with Ella asking what was wrong. I threw the laptop to the far end of the bed and started to cry, Elizabeth was one of the few people in the world I didn't mind crying in front of - only about four people in the world had ever seen me shed a single tear.

She read down the page and gasped before coming to sit beside me and pull me in to her arms, ever since she had hugged me that night when I'd turned up on her doorstep it had been the safest place in the world I could be - in her embrace nothing and no-one could hurt me. I knew what I had to do, I didn't know if Mom would agree but she never usually stopped me from doing anything that wasn't a danger to me or other people.

"I..I want to go to the hospital." She pulled me away from her shoulder and asked me if I was sure. "Yeah, I want everything cleared up and out in the open otherwise it's gonna end up like chinese whispers. Would you mind if we did?" She shook her head and I knew it was the right thing to be doing, it was the only thing to do.

Elizabeth POV

We arrived at County in the middle of the afternoon, all the regular staff were on and anyone who wasn't was going to hear about this as soon as they got in. I held Rachel's hand as we walked in to the lobby, no-one saw us through the craziness of the ER, except Jerry who looked thoroughly excited to see us both.

"Hey Rach', is it true then?" He was given a half-hearted nod before she went to sit in the old chair behind the desk, the one that had been there since long before I even arrived in Chicago. I asked Jerry to try and get everyone together for a staff meeting, it had just calmed down after three criticals so no-one was going to be very busy.

Once everyone was gathered, people started to coming over to congratulate the both of us but I just shook my head and urged them to be quiet for a moment. _So this is it._

"So everyone had probably heard the news and yes it is true but recent events have caused tension for Rachel, so she wanted to clear the air and make sure everyone knew exactly what was going on." I explained and that was it, she bared her heart and told them the truth - the whole story - not scared of being judged, It took her a while but she managed to get through the whole story of her life over the past few months, then we left - Rachel had sewn the seed she didn't need to wait for the reaping.

"Thank you for doing that with me Elizabeth, it's really made things easier today." She said as we drove through the city, looking down at her phone.

"I didn't actually do anything Rachel, all I did was stand there and listen to you re-telling that story again, I hate to say it but your Dad would have known what to do today." It was the truth, I'd been completely useless in there but Mark would have been supporting his daughter through everything.

"No you helped me pull through it - and to be honest, everything would be a lot easier if Dad was still around." Ella started babbling about her 'Dada' in the back seat and it made me want to cry, she was too young to understand that he wasn't ever going to come back to us now. _Well this day wasn't getting any easier._


	9. Chapter 9

After a relatively normal evening; eating dinner then getting Ella down for the night, I walked in to the front room and saw Rachel curled up on the couch with a pile of prints, then I realized which ones they were and I wanted to cry again. Those were the prints from that first convention, the ones that had first allowed our relationship to grow. Rachel didn't know that, she thought they were just more of the houses' never-ending supply of medical papers.

"Enjoying those?" I asked over her shoulder, she jumped a good couple of feet off the couch and I think she was planning to scream, certain things in everyday life still unnerved her, and that unnerved me. "Sorry, couldn't resist." **  
**

"Oh very funny! I could have had a heart attack, jeez!" She exclaimed and I couldn't help but laugh at her previous statement, she rolled her eyes at me when she realized what she'd said. "I don't think I've seen these ones before, they were in a different box from the rest."

"Yes, they would be. These are the prints I took to the convention where me and your father had our first date if you can call it that - we crashed a wedding." It was strange to me, to think that all these little things build up our lives - life is divine intervention - and one wrong turn could mean so much more. "One of the best nights of my life." After our wedding, Ella's birth and our first night in this house - it was _the _best night of my life.

"I don't even think I want to know how that happened, god I miss him though. I remember once he took me to the zoo and told me if I fed the animals I'd catch bubonic plague but I didn't fall for it - so he told me a story about his childhood." Tears pricked in my eyes and one escaped down my cheek. "What's wrong?"

"He told me that story too, admittedly we were both quite drunk at the time but still...I miss him too sweetheart." This was the first time I realized something was wrong, she didn't lean in to hug me, and that's not me egocentric it's just that she _always _did - yet she hadn't. I tucked it away at the back of my mind and carried on with the evening, watched some television and realized that Rachel wasn't doing anything - she was just sitting there in silence - so I threw a cushion at her aiming to start a pillowfight but she didn't even flinch. Concerned I went over to sit beside her, but she didn't even notice that so I shook her knee lightly to get her attention. "Rachel, what is it?"

"Oh nothing." I raised my eyebrow accusingly as if to say _you know I won't fall for that. _"I don't need to tell you, don't worry it's only gonna be for a couple more weeks then hopefully I'll be back to normal." Like I didn't know what that meant, she was keeping something from me and in a fortnight's time she intended to reveal it, well I'm not a very patient person.

"Rachel Greene, tell me or I'll steal your straighteners...for a month!" It wasn't anything awful but it was serious enough to her, I expected it would work. She just shook her head and got up before heading to her room, it didn't take me long to follow her. "I can't help unless you tell me what's up. I thought we agreed to no secrets in this house, huh?" She rolled her eyes before throwing a box at me, I caught it and saw the label straight away, _no this can't be happening! _"Rachel, you can't be taking Zoloft, it's seriously damaging for your health."

"Well that's not what the Doctor said." I looked up at her and my eyes widened before she nodded. "They're prescripted, I told my doctor I'd transfer my prescription but I didn't want to tell you so I was just going to finish this course then stop. I'd never do drugs under your roof Elizabeth, I've only ever _done _drugs once." Immediately regretting what she said, she closed her eyes and pursed her lips while waiting for me to talk.

"Rachel, when?" It was open-ended, she could answer me for whichever first but I wanted answers to both.

"As soon as I got back to St. Louis."

"You know that isn't what I meant Rachel, when did you do drugs?" I asked, hoping she'd answer me honestly.

"Hawaii, Dad's Vicodin, he suspected me the whole time we were there." She wasn't looking at me but I knew that she was sorry, it didn't need saying. She'd been through so much pain and never turned to that, not except that once. This girl had tried to make amends with everyone after her mistakes, I was the only one to accept her apology where even her own mother was incapable. She leant in to my arms hesitantly but I pulled her closer to me, holding her felt comforting the same way calming Ella did.

"It's okay Rach', now I know about this we can deal with it. I'm pleased that you told me, we'll get through this...together." After all the struggles of the past few months this felt like the home straight, sure there were a lot more laps but setting the pace was the tough part. We'd tested our abilities and we were capable of getting through almost anything, Rachel was a fighter.

* * *

I walked in to the front room and saw Ella and Rachel playing together on the floor, they were so close and Rachel was an amazing sister to Ella. When they saw me in the doorway, Rachel got up and passed Ella to me for a quick cuddle, she was growing so fast it was unreal now.

"I got you a new prescription today, they've cut it down to Prozac which shouldn't effect you mood as much. I managed to get it on a repeat prescription so I can just get it from the pharmacy while I'm at work." She thanked me before taking the bags from my hand and putting them down on the table for me. "Thanks hunn'."

Rachel offered to cook dinner and I was so tired that I didn't have the energy to object, I put Ella down for her afternoon nap before diving in to some paperwork. Almost an hour later I heard Rachel call me to the kitchen, the smell hit me as I entered the kitchen and it was amazing, Ella was already in her highchair and the table was covered in all the trimmings for a roast dinner.

"What's this Rachel? You said dinner, not a grand feast!" She laughed before starting to serve up some food on to Ella's plate.

"Oh I owed you a proper roast anyway since I cause havoc at the last one, and it didn't take that much effort anyway. I was just in the mood to do some cooking, that along with reading, is my relaxation hobby." I noticed there was beef on the table and raised an eyebrow at her. "That's what rubber gloves are for, and why should you miss out just because of me?!" We settled in to a comfortable conversation with Ella babbling random new words she'd heard from Rachel, it was amusing to watch her grow and be influenced by her sister so much.

Okay so the day was one of the bad days but it had ended well which proved that not everything in this life had to be awful.


	10. Chapter 10

Rachel POV

It was hard to believe that waking up today I was another year older - my sixteenth birthday. I wanted it to pass as a normal day, I hadn't reminded Mom and I didn't expect her to remember it. Walking in to the kitchen I saw Ella eating her breakfast at the table and laughed at the mess she was making.

"Oh I'm sure you find that hilarious don't you? Well you can clean it up for me then since you find it so amusing, I need to go to work." Mom said as she filled her thermos with coffee, ready to rush out the door.

"Well get going then, you start in twenty minutes! Do you mind if I take her in to the city this afternoon? I need to get some things for school and then we can go to the park for a while before we head home." I asked, hoping she'd say yes - there was a surgical conference I was dying to attend. A pair of high heels, some make-up and a young child all helps a person to pass a medical student.

"Yeah sure that's fine but make sure you're back here before 4 okay? We have company for dinner." She called as she headed out of the door. I didn't get a chance to ask her who the 'company' was before she left.

After I cleaned up Ella's mess and got her ready for the day, I got dressed in to my most expensive suit and heels before getting ready to go out.

We arrived at the hotel at 2 o'clock - the first speaker was scheduled for 2:15. I got in and took a seat near the back before looking up and feeling the urge to shrivel up in to a ball and pretend I didn't exist. There, right in the middle of the table, was a placard that said the most feared name in all the world - none other than Dr. Robert Romano. I kept mumbling myself reassurances, 'He won't recognize me.','He doesn't know what I look like.'

The conference went well and I was just getting ready to leave when I got tapped on the shoulder, my body when I went rigid as I turned slowly around.

"Hi, Rachel isn't it? Now what would you be doing here without Elizabeth? and with Ella for that matter?" He asked in a harsh tone.

"Look, Dr. Romano. I know you don't like me, but I'm actually begging you to not to tell my Mom I was here. Ella's here because I'm babysitting but I didn't want to miss the conference so I just brought her along. Please!" I asked, pleading with him and hoping I would see a shred of humanity.

"Why would you think I don't like you? And why don't you want Elizabeth knowing you're here?"He asked, seemingly more friendly all of a sudden.

"You didn't like my Dad so you probably don't like me. Elizabeth won't like the fact that I came without telling her, and she'll kill me if she thinks I'm considering surgery." The last part was half a joke, everyone knew Mom was a surgeon in England.

"I did like your Dad Rachel, he was a good man and he made Elizabeth happy. And Mom's the word." He said, I felt entirely relieved.

Elizabeth POV

Walking in to work I was greeted by a very cheerful Haleh asking me if Rachel suspected anything.

"Nope, she thinks we've got someone joining us for dinner, I'll call her later and tell her that something's happened at work and I need her and Ella to come here." I explained, quite proud of myself for keeping it secret.

The fact that Rachel hadn't even questioned the fact I'd 'forgotten' her birthday was slightly unnerving, but then again she was used to being everyone's last priority - even mine. I got settled in to the steady flow of work and the day flew by quite fast before I had to make the call.

She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Mom, what's up?" She asked almost immediately.

"Look, something's happened at work. I need you and Ella to come over here and I'll speak to you when you get here, take a cab if you need to. I've got to go now Rach'. See you soon, love you, bye." I hung up before she could object and got to work helping Jerry with the decorations.

About twenty minutes later, Rachel turned up with Ella in her pram - she ran through the door looking flustered and worried.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone exclaimed in unison and Rachel looked shocked - like a deer in headlights. She ran straight over to me and asked what the hell was going on.

"You didn't really think I'd forget your 16th did you? Happy Birthday sweetheart, you can have your presents soon." I explained to her while everyone milled around us gleefully. A pile of wrapped boxes was forming in Rachel's arms and soon there were too many for her to carry - I took half of them off her hands and walked towards the lounge.

"Mom, I didn't expect you even remember, let alone do this for me." She said as she put down her gifts on the couch and turned around to give me a hug.

"Here's your present from Ella - I was in the store with her and she took a liking to it so I ended up buying it for you, I have to say she has quite the eye." I said, handing a black, velvet box to her. "I left your gift from me at home so you'll have to wait for that...and there's something else at home I have to give you." This was the first of Mark's letters that she would get to open - the first fragment of what he had left her.

She opened up the box and her eyes lit up when she saw the small necklace inside - it was a small teddy bear charm on a silver chain.

"It's beautiful Mom! Thank you so much! I love it." She exclaimed before rushing back to the desk to show Chuny and Abby presumably. I've always thought of County as my family, ever since I arrived really but after me and Mark got married - things became even more clear because everyone had a specific role. When people leave, they can't ever be replaced - new people arrive and take a different role but the old are never forgotten. Most people who are invested in their work have a strict divide between work and home life - but in a place like County, the two blend together.

My husband was my colleague even longer than he was my husband, my step-daughter was known by everyone I work with before we even met, and my baby daughter was born here and spent weeks of her life here - but most of all my colleagues are my friends. I've been through so much since I started working here and everyone has gone through it with me. I have no life outside my work because my work contains my life - in times of crisis I would sooner run to my colleagues than my family.

I suppose that's just what happens when you work in a place like County.


End file.
